Aug 17th, 2010

Today has been a big day for Hudson in the sense that he’s been bugged a lot.  They are currently putting in a central venus line which is also going to be used for the Cath they plan to do to figure out what will need to be done surgically for him.  I had to step out because I can’t handle all the pokes they give him even though he is sedated and supposedly doesn’t feel anything, I hate it.  Every time they do some procedure as putting in a line, they sedate him even more and paralyze him so he doens’t move.  I can’t handle all the drugs that are being pumped in him, some seem so unnecessary, but they give them as precautions UGHH!!! it’s so frustrating and he’s so little, how does he put up with all of this, only by the grace of God, it’s painful for me as a mother watching my little angel be poked around and bruised, I almost want sedation myself so I dont’ feel any emotion.  I am glad Chris is here with me because he’s the stronger one in that sense and he’s the one that speaks up for both of us, even though I have learned to advocate for my son’s well being pretty well, I still need the additional support from him.   He is in there with him while they attempt for the second time to put in the central venus line, it is almost like a surgical procedure.     Yesterday we didn’t leave his bedside until around midnight just because Chris was having a friendly discussion (debating) with the Dr’s on what he thinks is best for our son and I totally agree with him which is to back off on the drugs instead of adding new ones, and start to ween him of them.  Needless to say I don’t know if we are in their favourite books because we ask so many q’s and have too many opinions, but he’s our son. Some Dr’s are amazing and you can tell they genuinely feel compassion , others not so much.   As a mom, I care about the little things when the nurses take the time to make him comfortable and not with drugs but just a simple rubbing his forehead or putting some vaseline on his little lips so they don’t crack, putting warm blankies on his little feet that tend to be cold because of his circulation.

Anyways, considering how we went from almost being home to getting air ambulanced here, we are thankful the Dr’s made the decision to send us here, because hands down this team is amazing and full of knowledge when it comes to Hudson’s heart condition.

We have managed to get a room at the Ronald Mcdonald house again and everyone has been incredibly helpful.  There is still some familes that we met from the first time we stayed there which is nice to see, but at same time it’s hard because we know they are either still waiting for a transplant or still have child in hospital and so on.

Hopefully, we will get more concrete answers once they have their teleconference with the Vancouver team.

We continue to hold onto Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE”

We know God has amazing plans for Hudson and a great future ahead of him.  I am being patient and waiting for the time where I can hold him again.

–Gabby