Having Hudson Home

It has been 4 days since Hudson came home and it’s so great having him home, but at the same time it’s soooo busy.
I am exhausted beyond belief. I am not even sure how I found the energy to type this post but felt like I needed to document how I am feeling. Overwhelmed is an appropriate word to say the least. Having 3 kids aged 3 and under is tough regardless, but having one that needs extra care is even tougher. I mean they are all soo young and they all need a lot of care and attention but my time has never been so precious and so not enough, to do all that needs to get done. Hudson has to be fed every 3hrs by NG tube and in between those times I try to breatfeed him when he will take it, but he does get tired a lot which is the need for the NG tube right now to get food in him without him having too work so hard because simple things like sucking, swallowing and breathing take up a lot of his energy and tires him right out. So we are busy boiling bottles and mixing up formula for extra calories and we have run out of breastmilk that I had pumped for the first 3 weeks. I am still waiting for a pump to continue that, but I don’t miss it. I rather just breastfeed him instead of pumping UGHH!! Anyways Hayden is an alarm clock, he is up between 6:30 and 7:00a.m and likes to come into our room and wants to play trains and because we are both so exhausted being up all night getting feeds ready and trying to get the last little bit of sleep, he likes to wake up his sister so she can play with him and she’s not ready to wake up.  Sometimes he doesn’t do it intentionally he is just loud and that wakes her up.  Well to say the least they need a lot of attention as well and I feel so bad because I can hardly give them any quality time. I feel like all I can give them is the essentials such as food that’s relatively on time and just making sure they are fed with somewhat healthy food.

I have to also keep on top of Hudson getting his medications twice a days, he also needs to get an injection on his little leg twice a day which Ia m still nervous about. It’s his blood thinner drug, can’t wait until he no longer needs that one UGHH!!  he is a champ though, he never cries when we poke him every morning and night 🙁 I think I cry more than he ever has.

Laundry has been crazy overwhelming too since Hudson spits up a lot of his food, his tummy is just getting use to having food in it and sometimes he spits it all out, not all the time, but lately it seems like a lot.

I am so grateful my family has been above and beyond supportive.  My Mom and Dad come and take the kids out to the park and for walks which I am so thankful for because I just can’t right now and they so badly need to get outside.  they have so much build up energy being inside.  They are both very energetic kids so they need to burn some steam outside.

Soon I should be able to enjoy the nice weather and summer is here and I can take them for walks with Hudson.  Right now we are trying to be extra cautious with him because he already caught a cold from the other two kids and for him it’s so hard to fight it because of his little heart taking up all his energy.

As I sit down to type this, he is sitting in his bassinet beside me and having his 60ml of milk through his NG and he likes to poop when he eats and this kid knows how to poop lots, like 10 poopy diapers yesterday alone CRAZY!!! We are going to go broke on diapers alone.  I forgot how much they poop when they are this little.

Anyways, the poopy diaper calls, that’s it for now.

–Gabby