The day started early, woke up at 4:30 a.m. after not sleeping much, just thinking about his surgery and if it was really going to happen or was it going to be cancelled last minute due to other priority surgeries. His surgery was scheduled for 7:30a.m, therefore, I wanted to hold him before he went into surgery for a big chunk of the day. So my goal was to be at hospital by 5:30-6:00a.m.
Chris, his mom and my mom and myself prayed before Chris and I left to the hospital and that helped me out to start the day and take the time to do some last minute cuddles with him before of surgery since I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold him for at least a couple of days, which breaks my heart, because all I want to do is hold him and comfort him. Anyways I was glad to have held him for almost 2hrs before his surgery, it was sooo nice to just cuddle up with him for that time. Once 7:30 came around it was time to give him up and that was when it got really hard, I didn’t want to give up my baby boy, I wanted to hold him forever, I didn’t want anyone taking my baby from my arms.
Well I had to eventually give him up and we saw him be wheeled off into the OR and that was the hardest thing to have to go through, nothing I can do but to see him be wheeled of by a team of people. It was an extremely emotional moment to say the least, but I knew he was going to be ok, he is strong little guy and God was him protecting him and holding him, that’s the only thing that is getting me through all of this and it’s God giving me the strength.
We decided to come back to the house and spend time with the other two kids. It took my mind of things for a while, I mean not fully because my mind is on overload right now, there is so much to think about and images of Hudson keep popping in my mind and how small he is yet he’s about to have open heart surgery, it almost doesn’t seem right.
We played with the kids and had some food to eat and it was already time to head to the hospital to see Hudson come out of his surgery. Dr. Ross told us to be there at around noonish but surgery could go up to 1:30ish or so.
Well we go to the waiting room at about 12:30 and we thought for sure Dr. Ross will be out soon… We waited, and waited and every time a door opened our heads would turn, and nope it wasn’t him yet. Boy, why can they just tell us a later time instead of making us be early and make us wait and think a million things. Two o’clock rolls around and all of a sudden I see Dr. Ross coming out with another Dr. He looked pretty relaxed, I mean really he only just mended a 7 day olds heart WOW!!! pretty amazing how he has been gifted like that, just blows my mind how they can operate on such a small little peanut, truly a gift from God. Dr. Ross seems so nice and humble on what he does which allowed for us to put our minds at ease and be able to fully trust him with our little baby boy.
He tells us how he was very pleased with how the surgery went and how Hudson should be out within 30min. We asked if there was any issues he had with the Aorta being so small, he said that he did not and he was pleased on how things turned out but the next 24hrs are crucial for his recovery. Please continue to pray that he heals well and is able to recover fast and shows everyone how amazing he really is and how God is in all of this.
at almost 2:45p.m. we finally see him being wheeled in and all we can see is a huge bed with a ton of machinery and all of a sudden I see his little, tiny, head with all the spiky black hair and his tiny nose sticking out of this massive big bed for him. I thought how great he looked and he was wheeled into PICU and we were told we could see him in about 15-20mins.
Finally we were able to see him and that was very, very overwhelming to see him lying on this huge bed with a million machines beside him leading to some sort of wire or tube into his tiny body and there is nothing I can do, all I want to do is hold him, tha’ts all I want to do is just hold my little guy but how with all this stuff attached to him, even stroking his head is scary or his hand because I am scared to pull something off by accident. He did look relaxed, but that’s because of all the drugs he is on. He’s only 7 days old how could he even take all of this and still come out so strong. He is going to be our strength, our little ROCK and will hold all of us together. I am so very proud of him and so forever grateful to God to give me the opportunity to be his Mommy. Hudson is so special.
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